2022-23 BMBL Season Preview

Adam Lempka Real Estate

This year's squad comprises four players from last year's championship team (Ryan French, Jon Kryzanowski, Paul Kwiatkowski and Adam Lempka).   They've upgraded from Brian Laundry and Mark Leyser with Dave "The Big Show" Holloway and George "F-You Ref" Sousa.  This team is projected to lead the league in bludgeoning the opposition.  League analysts expect Ryan French to again battle for league MVP.

Goldfish Swim School

A league insider was overheard talking about Dave MacKay's great job constructing his roster.  Dave MacKay and Kevin French are both very versatile (and large) forwards who can score.  Flanking these athletic forwards are a group of fast guards who binge-watch Crossfit videos (we’re looking at you, Cody Matthews, Ryan Kelly and Keith Andruch).  Rounding out the squad are two rookies, Steve Atkinson and Dwayne Cuvay, who look to provide some size and scoring.  Chris “he's going left!” Dibendetto should provide great leadership, running the point on the left side of the court.

Joseph Pitirri Real Estate

Don't you hate it when football players play basketball?  Let us introduce you to Joseph Pitirri Real Estate.  Captain Joe Pitirri stayed loyal to his draft-day playbook and selected the starting squad from his men's touch football league.  Chris Keith, Jordan Johnson and Kris Ceelen are all big ugly dudes with scary beards and tattoos.  They would be actors in the upcoming Sons of Anarchy season if you didn't know better.   Drafting seasoned black holes like Terry Garrow and Kris Ceelen seems like a poor science experiment.  We expect this team to lead the league in technical fouls.  Last season, they set the record for the most technicals by yelling at their teammates.  Fortunately for them, they have commissioner Brandon Miller preventing any suspensions.

My Insurance Department

The league was surprised by the return of MVP candidate Alberto (Beto) Gerones.  Beto is a scoring point guard who drafted two other primary ball handlers, Ben Coo and rookie Paul Ricciuti.   League veterans are not sure what to make of the roster construction.  To go along with three ball-dominate guards, they have added 6'8" Defending champion Boris Zadkovic who at times last season took total control of several games.  Long-time BMBL all-star Tony Bartley is back for another season of heat checks.  The roster is rounded (literally) out by Darren Hewitt, Mark Leyser, and Brian Laundry.   There's a rumour that Larry Jusdanis is upset about not being drafted by his football brethren Joe Petirri.

New Start Kitchens

This is a very similar squad that has won championships in the past.  Their success will largely be predicated on their health.  Team captain Kevin St. Kitts is a dinosaur whose pure actuarial statistics shouldn't be able to hold up to the season-long grind.  Nelson Martins is coming off a terrible hamstring injury, and first-round selection Craig Emuss has been sidelined the past two seasons significantly with foot and ego problems.  Early season rookie of the year candidate Daniel Planckaert adds some depth to this tough team.  Expect league veteran Doug Grittani to continue to knock down shots and lead the way for the 'looks the most miserable to be here' award.  JP only made the team because he sponsored....whoopie!

Overhead Doors

"With the first pick in the BMBL draft, Overhead doors selects....Dustin MacTaggart from Burlington, Ontario, Canada".  Team Captain Curtis Seeley was giggling like a schoolgirl when he was announced as the first selection in the draft lottery.  Dustin and Curtis are flanked by athletic big men Andrew Ferris, Keith Blair and Glen Julien.  Non-athletic Nigel Rawlins should provide some scoring and rebounding punch near the hoop.  League ambassadors Grant Taylor and Peter Barry look to bring some job offers in exchange for playing time.  John Van Look and Scott Lambert complete the roster, with overall wonderful personalities.